November 1, 2024 “Finding Normal”
When people talk about "normalizing" something in 2024, it's often with a positive slant. On social media and off, I've seen calls to normalize everything from postpartum bodies to having mental health conversations at work. The idea, of course, is to break down taboos that can be unhelpful, even dangerous.
But there's another kind of normalization, and it's one that many people are far less aware of. It is less conscious, more pernicious and can be harmful. This is the normalization of trends, situations and events that really shouldn't be "normal" at all. You also might hear it referred to as "desensitization", or “habituation”.
I am the first example of this. I lived for years with chronic pain when I had a menses that I forgot they could be pain-free until I had a hysterectomy. Although the pain was excruciating, I became desensitized to the pain and just functioned as if it were normal.
I have a friend who grew up watching her mother get beat by her dad, and her relationships were marred by men who yelled at and hit her because she thought this abnormal behavior was how love was expressed.
And now we are three weeks into Bootcamp, and I am witnessing the normalization of abnormal behavior in my interactions with many of you.
Many of you have stopped eating breakfast or many meals (getting one meal a day) due to lack of meal planning or scheduling. Eventually, you are no longer hungry or eating and in turn slowing down your metabolism and preventing weight loss. When I advise you to eat, you can’t or believe that you will gain weight.
Many of you take an entire weekend of cheat days as if this is fine because you worked out a few days and ate right for a couple of days that week. And then we look at your scans this week and so many people gained weight because you have been eating poorly more often than not. I frequently say, that your body knows more wrong than you have done than good. So consistency is key to weight loss.
You started bootcamp knowing that your entire weekend can’t be cheat days. You started bootcamp knowing that too much salt or sugar was not ideal for your meal plan. You started bootcamp knowing you had to eat more than one meal a day. Early on probably from day one, there was a recognition that this was not normal behavior. Just like we know constant pain is not normal, that someone hitting you regularly and calling it love is not normal and that not eating or not eating properly, especially when you are working out and your body needs food is NOT NORMAL.
Yet sadly, when these things last for months or even years, the impact that they had on day one diminishes, which is why they become normal to you. You have been eating poorly for so long that eating healthily is abnormal to you and you laugh it off. In the meantime, you are not seeing the results that you joined the camp for.
The more we do something, even something we know is wrong, the less uncomfortable with it we become. Be exposed to anything enough, in other words, and that thing winds up being normalized. Even if it's bad.
It perpetuates a vicious cycle. If you do not think chronic pain, physical abuse or failing to eat are no big deal, why would you be motivated to change your behavior?
So, what can we do?
First, we must recognize that such habituation is happening at all. Take a moment to reflect on what things you are growing accustomed to, that you know are bad. Only then can you plan some actions. You know that eating badly every weekend defeats the purpose of the workouts and the one or three days of good eating.
Second, turn taking action into a habit. After seeking professional help, I had a hysterectomy that elevated my chronic pain. I realized it did not need to live in chronic pain. My immediate response to pain now is to have it looked at whether it’s the need for a chiropractic adjustment because my hip had shifted or the need for Biote’, hormone replacement therapy, to deal with menopausal symptoms. I am here for you to turn your actions into a habit.
I say to you all, I am here for you. I can help you ease back into better eating habits for better health and weight loss, but you must be willing to take the steps. I review your books, to assist you with your meals. I try to help you understand the importance of meal planning that works within your schedule. I also help you understand the importance of taking action on something distressing because it makes habituation less likely. So let me help you take the “ab” out of abnormal and normalize some healthy habits. No Mess
